From Concerns to Diagnosis: You Are Your Child’s Key Support

Every parent or caregiver faces challenges with young children, such as introducing new foods or establishing sleep routines. These everyday tasks can feel even more difficult when your child has additional needs or a disability.

Many parents of autistic children report that the areas where they most want support include:

• Communication
• Sleep
• Eating
• Toileting
• Behaviour

Support is available. You can seek guidance from an Occupational Therapist experienced in these areas, and additional assistance may be accessible through your FSCD contract.

Supporting Your Child’s Communication: 10 Helpful Tips

Many characteristics of autism involve challenges with communication, so supporting your child’s communication skills is important. Here are 10 practical ways to help:

1. Follow their lead
   Let your child guide the activity instead of directing it. They are more likely to engage and focus when they are genuinely interested and motivated.
2. Be face to face
   Get down to your child’s eye level when communicating. This allows them to see your facial expressions, which are an important part of communication.
3. Copy their actions and sounds
   Imitate your child’s sounds and movements. If they say “vroom” instead of “car,” respond with “vroom” too. If they bang a spoon, do the same. This shows them the power and fun of communication.
4. Join in their play
   Show interest in what your child is doing. If they line up cars, hand them one at a time. If they throw toys, use a basket to collect and return them. Engaging in their interests makes interaction rewarding.
5. Use “high-interest” objects
   Items like balloons or bubbles often grab attention. Use them to encourage two-way communication by pausing and waiting for a response before continuing. If something causes distress, try a different object that captures their attention positively.
6. Encourage requests
   Place favourite toys or snacks just out of reach or in a container that’s tricky to open. This encourages your child to ask for help and creates opportunities for interaction.
7. Give things gradually
   Break items, like cookies, into small pieces. Give one piece at a time and encourage your child to communicate before giving more. This teaches turn-taking and requesting.
8. Use simple words – “less is more”
   If your child is not yet talking much, add just a small amount of information to their words. For example, if they say “car,” you can reply, “Yes, blue car.” Gradually build language without overwhelming them.
9. Use gestures and visuals
   Demonstrate actions, like drinking, and use gestures like nodding or waving. Show photos when talking about people or places to make ideas clearer.
10. Have fun!
    Play should be enjoyable for both of you. If a tip is causing stress, stop and try something else. These strategies are meant as a starting point to discover what works best for you and your child.

Supporting your child’s play

All young children, including autistic children, learn and grow through play. Play is not just fun—it is a key way children explore the world, make sense of it, and develop important physical, social, and communication skills. Autistic children may play differently; they might focus on a few toys, repeat the same actions, or use toys in unique ways—for example, spinning the wheels of a toy car instead of pushing it. Play is a valuable opportunity to support your child’s social and communication development by encouraging skills such as taking turns, asking for help, making choices, and using their imagination.

Six Types of Play and How to Support Your Child

1. Exploratory Play
Learning about the world and their body by exploring textures, shapes, and sizes.
Tip: Join in and encourage exploring water, sand, foam, or other interesting materials.

2. Interactive / Cause-and-Effect Play
Toys that respond to actions, like pressing a button to make something happen.
Tip: Show your child how the toy works if needed, praise successes, and encourage turn-taking. Use simple phrases like “Mommy help” or “Your turn.”

3. Toy Play
Using toys as intended, like throwing a ball or pushing a car.
Tip: Offer a few choices, sit face-to-face, copy their actions, then take turns. Praise often and end play on a positive note.

4. Constructive Play
Building or creating, such as towers, drawings, or puzzles.
Tip: Break tasks into small steps so your child can succeed, then gradually increase complexity as skills grow.

5. Physical Play
Running, jumping, dancing, or other full-body activities.
Tip: Encourage outdoor play to explore, move freely, and build coordination, strength, and confidence.

6. Pretend / Imaginative Play
Using imagination, like dress-up or role-playing with toys.
Tip: Support pretend play to develop language, social, and communication skills. Start simple and follow your child’s interests.

Supporting Social Play Skills

Social play usually develops gradually, from playing alone to cooperating with others. Autistic children may find playing with others especially challenging.

American sociologist Mildred Parton Newhall identified four key stages of social play, still widely used today to describe how children progress to more complex play. Here’s a summary of the stages and ways you can support your child:

1. Solitary Play
Your child plays independently. It’s normal and healthy for children to spend time playing alone, even as they grow.

2. Parallel Play
Children play alongside others, sometimes mimicking their actions but not yet fully interacting.
Tip: Encourage your child to play alongside siblings, cousins, or peers during playdates to practice observing and copying others.

3. Associative Play
Children begin interacting with others, sharing, taking turns, and exchanging ideas.
Tip: Support your child by encouraging simple interactions, like swapping toys or joining in similar activities, such as riding a bike while another child uses a scooter.

4. Cooperative Play
Children work together on games or activities with rules, like hide-and-seek, or building something together, such as a fort or sandcastle.
Tip: Use clear, simple instructions and visual supports. For example, explain a hide-and-seek game step by step or mark roles with scarves or objects. Social stories and visuals can make rules easier to understand and follow.

By supporting each stage, you help your child build communication, social understanding, and confidence while having fun with others.

Making the Most of Play

Play is more than fun—it’s a powerful way to help your child develop communication, social, and everyday skills. You can use play to encourage language, turn-taking, problem-solving, and coping with new situations. Here are some tips:

• Talk while playing: Name objects (“car,” “ball,” “paintbrush”) and gradually add descriptive words (“blue car,” “big ball”). Describe your child’s actions, like “feed teddy,” and build longer sentences over time.
• Use play in new environments: Encourage familiar play, like building towers, when your child is at a friend’s house or trying a new setting.
• Support routines: Incorporate play into daily activities, such as bath time or mealtime.
• Create learning games from everyday objects: Turn anything that interests your child into a playful activity, like “find the hairbrush.”
• Practice social rules safely: Role-play situations your child may find challenging, such as a birthday party with dolls or teddy bears.
• Build everyday skills: Use play to teach practical skills, like dressing a doll or changing costumes, to support independence.
• Have fun together: Play is also a time to bond, enjoy each other’s company, and make learning enjoyable.

Going out and about with your child

There is often still a lack of awareness about autism in society. This can lead to uninformed people misjudging autism as ‘naughty behaviour’. This, in turn, can have a big impact on your emotions if your child begins to struggle in a public place.

As a parent, you may feel a range of difficult emotions, such as shame, guilt, anger, and helplessness, if you’re out in public with your child and they are struggling to cope. It can be difficult to feel like a good parent if your child is having a meltdown due to sensory overload, or ‘stimming’ to self-regulate and soothe themselves. It’s harder still if you feel like others are judging you.

People may be better able to understand your child and how they can help if you share information about them.

Your child has the right to be integrated into the community and to experience life outside the house, even if their actions and behaviours look different

Preparing for Situations Outside the Home

Some places or events can be challenging for your child, but planning ahead can make these experiences more manageable for both of you. Here are some strategies:

1. Familiarize Your Child with New Locations
Visit a new place—like a doctor’s office or hairdresser—before the event so your child can see and explore the environment. This physical familiarity can reduce anxiety.

2. Make Back-Up Plans
For busy or unpredictable settings, like birthday parties, football stadiums, or swimming pools, having a back-up plan helps:

• Identify a quiet exit if your child becomes overwhelmed.
• Consider using ear defenders in loud spaces.
• Bring a favourite toy, game, or book to help your child stay calm.

3. Observe Patterns in Behaviour
Pay attention to what triggers your child’s discomfort. For example, one parent noticed her son resisted entering places with closed doors but was fine with automatic doors. Opening the door in advance helped reduce anxiety.

Using Visual Support

Consistency and routine are important for autistic children. Visual support helps them understand what is happening, what will happen next, and how to manage transitions. It also provides a way to communicate while their speech develops.

Visual support can include:

• Real objects (e.g., showing a cup when offering a drink)
• Photographs, line drawings, or symbols (e.g., images for visiting a shop or welcoming a visitor)

It helps children understand:

• What is happening now and next
• Past and future events
• Their own feelings and others’ feelings
• Steps for completing tasks independently
• Choices available to them

Common types of visual support include:

Now and Next Boards

• Divide a board into “Now” and “Next.”
• Use pictures, symbols, or photos to show current and upcoming activities.
• Keep instructions simple: “Brush teeth now… put on pyjamas next.”
• You can use a motivating activity as the “Next” reward to encourage participation.

Time Timers

• Help children understand the passage of time visually.
• As the red disk disappears, your child can see how much time remains.
• Use it for tasks like TV time, bath time, or brushing teeth.
• Promotes smoother transitions and supports self-regulation.

Visual Timetables

• Show sequences of activities for the day, week, or special events.
• Helps your child anticipate transitions: “First we drive to the supermarket, then to Grandma’s, then lunch, then home.”
• Start small with a few activities and gradually expand.
• Keep the timetable visible and accessible, and take a copy when out.
• Tick or remove pictures as activities are completed.
• Review at the start and end of the day if helpful.

Social Stories

Social Stories are a type of visual support designed to help children understand and navigate situations that may feel unpredictable. They were developed in the 1980s by Carol Gray, a teacher in the USA working with children with special needs.

Carol noticed that many of her students struggled with uncertainty, so she created simple storyboards that broke down complex events into clear, manageable steps. These stories could be read, discussed, and rehearsed, helping children feel more confident and prepared.

To learn more about Carol Gray and Social Stories, visit Carol Gray Social Stories.

Creating and Using Social Stories

1. Know your goal
Be clear about what you want your story to achieve. Keep the focus simple. For example:
“Now we brush our teeth. Next we get into our pyjamas.”

2. Structure: Beginning, Middle, End
A social story should have three parts:

• Title and introduction – clearly identify the topic.
• Body – add details about what will happen.
• Conclusion – summarise and reinforce the main points.

Adding one or two simple sketches can serve as visual reminders during the activity.

3. Keep it brief and simple
Tailor your story to your child’s language skills, attention span, and interests. Short, clear sentences work best.

4. Use a positive tone
Describe events in a patient and encouraging way. Focus on what will happen rather than what should not happen.

5. Who is in the story?
Decide whether to use second person (“You will go to the shop”) or third person (“Suzi will go to the shop”). Experiment to see which your child responds to best.

6. Consistent timing
Use consistent past, present, or future tense. Avoid switching between tenses in the same story. For example:

• Instead of: “The last time we went to the pool the water was cold. When we go tomorrow, it will still be cold.”
• Try: “When we go to the pool tomorrow, the water will be cold.”

7. Cover the basics: Who, What, When, Where, Why, How
Explain these elements as you go, using your pictures. When describing why, give a simple reason behind the event or activity.

8. Describe rather than direct
Focus on explaining what will happen rather than giving instructions. For example:

• “The music at the party will be loud. Some children like to dance. It’s OK if you don’t want to dance.”
  Use gentle coaching sentences to help your child understand and make choices.

9. Practice makes progress
It may take a few tries for you and your child to feel comfortable with social stories. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep experimenting—patience pays off.

10. Praise and reinforce
After the activity, remind your child how the social story helped them understand what was going to happen. Praise their effort and successes. This builds trust, confidence, and helps your child feel more secure in future experiences.